You got cheated on? Man, that sucks. So here’s what you do next.
I’m offering up this advice for two reasons. One, a friend of a friend got cheated on recently and I thought I had some good tips for him to pass along.
Two, this is the anniversary of the day I walked in on my girlfriend fucking some other guy.
Okay, so it’s one year later – does it still bug me? Yeah, a bit. I’ve moved on and had a fair bit of fun since then, so it’s not like I’ve spent the past twelve months moping around. I have reflected on things a bit, and I think I’m qualified to offer up some help for anybody (male or female) who finds themselves in the same situation.A few disclaimers. This advice is really only applicable to a boyfriend/girlfriend (or maybe bf/bf or gf/gf) situations. If you’re married, have kids or some other serious entanglement, this may not work for you. You may find some application for some of this, though. Also, this pertains to those who cheat while you’re being faithful. If you fucked around first, that’s on you.
Let’s get started.
1. There is no forgiveness.
That’s right – none. There is simply no excuse for cheating on somebody. Next to physical abuse, it’s the worst thing you can do to somebody you’re seeing. There is nothing they cheater can say that will make things right, so don’t let them try.
2. You can’t be friends.
And why would you want to? You’ll never be able to look at them again and not think of what they did, so why have that constant reminder in your life.
3. Never speak to the cheater again. Ever.
Sound harsh? Too fucking bad. They should have thought of that before screwing around. (Actually, if they’d thought of you at all, they wouldn’t have cheated.) “But I’ve got stuff at their place,” you say? Forget it. I don’t care what it is. Consider it gone. If getting your stuff back involved talking to the cheater, just let it go. Now, if you’ve been living with the person (as I was), yes, clear your stuff out. I’m not advising anybody to abandon a heap of material possessions, but if it’s just a few small things, cut them loose.
4. Don’t isolate yourself.
The more time you spend on your own, the more you’ll think about things. Don’t do that to yourself. Hang out with your friends. Have some fun. Get the cheater out of your mind. (Obviously not that easy, since it’s one year later and I’m writing this post.) Do anything you can to get on with your life.
5. Get laid.
Yeah, “laid” sounds shallow, but after what you’ve just gone though, some steamy shallow sex could be just what you need.
6. Don’t compare new people with the cheater.
That’s just giving yourself a headfuck and after the one you’ve just gotten, you really don’t need another. Certainly not a self-inflicted one.
7. There are other people in the world – all of them better than your ex.
One of the best pieces of advice I got last year was this. “There’s nothing better for getting rid of the memories of a bad woman than the company of a good one.” Sage words.Now, will following my advice bring you lots of happiness and make everything better? On its own – maybe, maybe not. You’re going to need time to deal with what happened. So take it. Take all the time you need. But if your friends start telling you, “hey, enough is enough,” you’ve probably taken enough. Listen to your friends.
They’re the one thing that’ll help you the most.