#1 – How to reject a guy
What’s this? A new blog category?
Yes, and I suppose I should explain the category title before I get into today’s entry. “Aberrant” is defined as “deviating from the normal” or “out of place.” As I’m hardly qualified to give anybody advice on anything, an advice section is certainly an abnormality here. But, there are things I want to say that don’t fit in my other categories, so they need a place of their own.
And who knows, somebody might actually find something of value in here.
(Unlikely, but you never know.)
Okay, enough explanation. On to today’s tip.
Like most guys, I’m no stranger to rejection. I’ve been rejected by the best, and occasionally the worst, of them. It happens to all of us. But since it happens so often, and since it’s usually the women of the world doing the rejecting -
Why the hell can’t they do it right?!?
It might seem an easy thing. A chick’s not interested in a guy, and just tells him so, right? Wrong. If only it were that easy. You see, most girls have this thing about “feelings.” They seem to think that even though they’re rejecting a guy, it’s important to spare his feelings. He’s already going to be bummed about the rejection, so why make it worse?Or something like that. I make no claim of fully understanding women’s thought processes. I know how guys think though, what with being one and all, and the usual female method of rejection, while communicating the “no” message, also tends to piss us off. So here are some tips on how to better tailor your rejection for a guy in order for it to sit better with him.
1. No compliments.
If you’re telling a guy you don’t want to see him anymore, don’t tell him “what a great guy he is.” If he’s so fucking great, why don’t you want to be with him? That goes for telling him he’s “cool,” “nice” or anything else. This is not the time to tell him what “a special guy he is.” This is your chance to tell him why you don’t want to be with him.
2. Do not “spare my feelings.”
You’re shooting me down, so what the fuck do you care about my feelings? Do not attempt to soften the blow or anything like that. Say “no,” and say why. That’s if you think “no” isn’t going to cut it. Or if he wants to know why. Be honest and be blunt. Hurt our feelings if you have to, but use plain English. Which leads us to point 3.
3. No chickspeak.
That stuff may sound great when you talk about breakups with your girlfriends over coffee or glasses of wine or whatever, but we do not want to hear it. We know it may sound like plain English to you, but it isn’t. If you want to “find yourself,” go to the nearest mall and look at the directory map. See that red arrow with the “you are here” tag next to it? Congrats, you’ve just found yourself.
4. “It’s not you, it’s me.”
If you use this line – and believe me girls, it is a line – he is legally absolved of anything he chooses to say or do to you. That’s the ultimate bit of chickspeak, and nothing will piss a guy off more than hearing those words.
Follow those handy tips, and you’ll find your rejections will go much more smoothly. Now, these are for ending relationships, or for cutting off new ones after a date or two. Rejecting some guy in a bar or club? Do what you wanna do there. That’s casual rejection and not a big deal. We won’t dwell over those hits. (Well, some guys might, be let’s not worry about them.)And you know what I’ve learned while writing this out? All that “sparing of feelings” crap? That’s not about our feelings.
It’s about yours.
Maybe you want to be able to tell yourself, or your friends, how you “let him down easy” or “weren’t at all bitchy about it.” Do you really care what a guy you’ve just ended things with thinks about you? Do you really think he’ll have a positive opinion of somebody who rejected him? Do you worry about what he’ll tell his friends?If you can answer those last few questions, please do. I’m curious as to how this screwed up rejection mentality came to be.